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Joke of the Day

"I'm picking up some really good vibes from this guy... ...because he's not coming with me tonight. :("

"If I were an old Chinese man I would never say anything, just nod and laugh strategically to freak people out"

"Sometimes when I say ""I'm ok"", I just want someone to tell me: ""I know you're not, here, have a million dollars."""

"What's a pirate's favorite bomb? The tsARRR bomba."

"Say ""beer can"" in a British accent. You just said ""bacon"" in a Jamaican accent."

"ok honey, you're going to love this movie. all you need to know is that ""robocop"" is short for ""robot cop"""

"I need Jesus in my life This lawn aint gonna cut itself"

"A blind guy walks into a bar *thud*"

"Why did the Hippy Drown? he was tooooo faaaaaaar oouuuuutttt maaaaaannnn"

"It's important even when you're really busy to stop and make time to notice how bad everything is."