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Joke of the Day

"I'm picking up some really good vibes from this guy... ...because he's not coming with me tonight. :("

"how do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? one will see you later, and the other in a while"

"Girl: Why should I shave my downstairs? Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food."

"What do you call someone with two noses? No one nose."

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh. If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea."

"Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, ""Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"""

"So I've heard the AFL player Chris Judd gets women pretty wet... But I reckon Adam Goodes gets them Damper."

"Man: ""If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"" Priest: ""No, not if you did not know."" Man: ""Then why did you tell me?"""

"My friend just won the Scandinavian excavator championship by moving a beer can from one table to another without denting it. My friend knows his ways around beer."

"Was giving a door counselling. We didn't get anywhere at first but he soon opened up to me."