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Joke of the Day

"What did the pervert say to the Sex Detective? I'm sorry officer I didn't know this was your jurisdicktion. I heard this on a movie years ago, can anyone guess which one it was?"

"Harambe walks into a bar. Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix."

"The worst analogy ever is like pudding."

"Son: Mom mom at school they call me a liar Mom: Shut up, you dont even go to school"

"Why did the chicken coop have two doors? 'cause if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan"

"My kitchen timer broke..good thing I wasn't counting on it."

"Q: What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp? A: A back-handed compliment."

"What do you get when cross religion with apples? Apple Jews."

"What idiot called them atheists instead of non-parishables?"