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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a gang-rape? Throw a basketball in the middle"

"What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10? Paul Walker only crashed once."

"I was going to write up a guide on how to reserve yourself a spot on the front page of Reddit... ...but it's really not my place to say!"

"Doctor Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed what can I do? Saw the legs off of your bed!"

"The Canadian election consists of two men apologizing till one concedes, the winner is then elected king of Canada. Or something like that."

"I have a good friend who was retired but he needs extra $$$ so he took a job as a taxi driver. Last night, he pulled out to avoid a kid. ... and fell off the sofa."

"i've been doing home repairs. since i started using black caulk, i haven't gone back."

"I have 7,777 followers. Shouldn't coins be coming out of my computer or something? #gyp"

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got a suitable living environment for him, a terrarium with a heat lamp, some small rodents, etc."

"Just got back from my secret society meeting. I'm really pleased with next year's Golden Globe winners."