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Joke of the Day

"I just made up a new word Derpflarp"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool"

"Very Funny My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"So I asked my wife, were you faking it last night? She said: no I really was asleep. (I heard this from Gazzo on Penn & Teller: Fool Us)"

"I've added Paul Walker on Xbox Live But he's always stuck on the dashboard."

"My wife's so ungrateful The other day I gave her a massive orgasm, and she just spit it out."

"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."

":* `*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar * `*:. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!"

"Why do christians avoid trigonometry ? because there is alot of sin going on."

"What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey! (Edit: Say it out loud if you don't get it)"