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Joke of the Day

"What is America worth? Nothing, it's a free country."

"Baby Lawyer: Did you steal the victim's nose? Accused: No. *cries into palms Baby Judge: O, great, he's disappeared again."

"What do you call a German with a bad attitude? Sauerkraut."

"I just read the ""100 things to do before you die"" list.... I'm kinda surprised that ""call 911"" didn't make the cut."

"Why don't old people have sex? Have you ever opened up a grilled cheese?"

"My wife and I asked my son who he loves most. He pointed all around. I said he had to choose, then he told us he was pointing at the wifi."

"Kids today will never know the joy of being selected to go outside to dust the erasers."

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it."

"there are like 4 billion words in the english language but there's nothing quite so damning to someone's character as ""that guy sucks"""

"Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester... I just had too much on my plate."