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Joke of the Day

"Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester... I just had too much on my plate."

"Why are turn signals great workers? When they get tired and burn out, they work twice as hard."

"The story of Rudolph is a great way to let your kid know that bullies will keep torturing him until he's famous, then they'll be his friend."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day Teach him to fish and you have lost a profitable business idea"

"I hate it when they tell you that they accept cards but refuse to accept my seven of spades"

"What do farmers say when something is important to them? It plays a big tractor."

"Where do post go when they die in Reddit? Everywhere else."

"Orange Soda I've always dreamt of having a cock as long as a 2 litre bottle of orange soda, and just as wide. It's just Fanta-sea really"

"My Dad just told me I looked like Jesus. I think he has a God complex."

"To ensure that my wife will truly miss me when I go on trips, right before I leave I put a few spiders in the bedroom."