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Joke of the Day

"The sign at the pool says, Children Under 12 Require Supervision. I guess anyone over 12 is allowed in with only normal eyesight."

"What did Hitler say when he rose to power? Give me all Germany. (Ger-money) Yeah I'm sorry. On my way out."

"Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes? He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out..."

"Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger's baby? Mrs Bigger's baby because he's a little Bigger."

"If I could be any animal I'd pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja."

"They should make a breathalyzer that can tell if you've consumed energy drinks so it's easier for the cops to catch rapists."

"what picture is guaranteed to make the front page of Reddit? Bernie Sanders sitting on a mildly interesting toilet while playing fallout 4"

"*slowly pulls up in a car next to you when ur walking on the sidewalk* ""why did u favorite that instead of retweeting it?"""

"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener."

"My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical."