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Joke of the Day
"All these things that aren't boobs and candy are really starting to piss me off."
Next Joke
"You never hear skinny people saying, ""I'm just small boned."""
"My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed."
"Ladies call me ""the turkey sandwich"" because I seem bland and boring at first, but then I continue to be boring."
"Q: What's green and walks through walls? A: Casper the Friendly Pickle."
"What do you call it when thieves in a metal boat steal your fool's gold? Iron Pirate"
"How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss? Jesus!"
"If billionaires were allowed to influence the results on American Idol instead of American elections, there would be rioting in the streets."
"What do gender studies graduates commonly say? ""Would you like fries with that?"""
"I lied to my wife about what I was doing. I told her I was laminating copies of my newest novel. But that was only a cover for my story."