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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died."
Next Joke
"I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes. It amazed me how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."
"Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?"
"Why do Catholics drink? ...because they're filled with the Holy Spirit"
"I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy"
"Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb."
"A father says to his son, Father: son stop masturbating so much or you'll go blind Son: dad I'm over here"
"Your momma is so old.. her social security number is 000-00-0001"
"Cheated on Twitter with my real life today."
"A fight or flight situation. Like when you go to pick up your kid and the teacher's walking towards you with ""the look"" on her face."