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Joke of the Day

"God: What's that? Noah: The aquarium God: For what? Noah: The fish God: Fish can survive floods Noah: *kicks llama* YOU SAID EVERY ANIMAL"

"Friends are a lot like snowmen... They tend to go away when you piss on them."

"The doctor said I had a bad case of kyphosis. ""Are you sure?"" I said. He replied, ""Honestly, it's just a hunch."" Edit: [Jokes are funnier when explained](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyphosis)."

"Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind."

"Q: How do you make a woman angry and sick at the same time? Cholera, bitch."

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"

"Why are ducks always sad? Because of their bills"

"I tied a string around my finger to remind me about World Leprosy Week, but it fell off."

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"A man dies of an overdose of Viagra They couldn't close his coffin..."