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Joke of the Day

"Why is a man's pee yellow, and his sperm white? So he can tell if he's coming or going."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye matey."

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"Why couldn't Bach be a rapper? Because he's Baroque."

"Where can you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"Mental note, its inappropriate, according to the HR department, to put your hand on the back of a female coworkers head as she eats a banana"

"My friends' girlfriend gets diagnosed with cancer.. He proposed to her on the spot. See ladies, it's not that men can't be spontaneous and romantic, we just don't like long term commitment"

"Do you know why the people in ambulances are called paramedics? because there are two of them in the ambulance...it's a Pair O' Medics!!!"

"What is it called when you call your ex? Ex-communication"

"I thought toddlers were the most energetic, obsessive, and relentless people on earth. And then someone got mad at me on Facebook."