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Joke of the Day

"1st grade: Color inside the lines. 10th grade: Color outside the lines. Art School: Snort the lines and then go color."

"You can't joke with a kleptomaniac... They take everything, literally."

"I didn't really want to take my friend's true or false test But he wouldn't take no for an answer"

"Don't hesitate when you come to a fork in the road. Be bold. Pick that fork up and take it home. Free cutlery!"

"""So what kind of work do you do?"" ""I move cows"" ""Oh , so you're a rancher?"" ""Not really , I'm a zumba instructor"""

"A blind man walks into a bar..."

"A clown at the circus got tomato thrown at him from the audience, he turns and says HAY, THATS NOT FUNNY"

"""Act your age!"" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt."

"If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me."

"Dear girls, not every guy is in love with you, sometimes they like your prettier friend and need your help."