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Joke of the Day

"Cop1: Has becoming a father affected your work Cop2: Not a bit Cop1: Ok cover me, I'm going in Cop2: HI GOING IN I'M DAD [both get shot]"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was going to... Al's Toybarn!"

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"What is it that separates humans from animals? The Mediterranean Sea"

"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"

"did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from prison? he is a small medium, at large"

"Why was the man with no arms or legs the BEST party host? Because no matter what, when you get to the front door you will always see a welcome Matt."

"Why did the doctor go on a ski trip alone? He was part of doctors without boarders ."

"If I got 50p for every time I failed a maths test I'd have about 6.30 by now"

"What kind of ears does an engine have? Engineers"