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Joke of the Day

"Why was the man with no arms or legs the BEST party host? Because no matter what, when you get to the front door you will always see a welcome Matt."

"My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I'm not drink. Drank. Drunk."

"How long does it take to get from Dorne to Meereen? It Varys."

"What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !"

"What do you call an unimportant pachyderm? It's irrelephant."

"A man walks into a bar... Ouch...."

"Just saw an advance screening of Age of Ultron. Spoiler alert: he's 47"

"Whats better than winning gold in the Paralympics Walking"

"*Interviewing for waiter position* I feel like I bring a lot to the table"

"I can't follow these instructions on how to apply fake eyebrows They are way over my head"