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Joke of the Day

"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."

"My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."

"Just saw a fat dude lick pizza grease off his shirt so that's the last time I eat in front of a mirror."

"ISIS Awards Night: The 2016 best suicide bomber award goes to Mohammed. Unfortunately, Mohammed can't be with us tonight."

"My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI."

"I got a job as a triangle player in a Reggae band... I just stand at the back and ting"

"What's the definition of Polystyrene? A plastic parrot!"

"only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds"

"Beastiality is wrong. Neigh means neigh."

"At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"" ""Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?"""