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Joke of the Day
"So I went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog. It was a shihtzu."
Next Joke
"I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden."
"Say one positive thing about your opponent Well...he does convert oxygen into carbon dioxide which helps trees grow."
"[picking out a washing machine] how many watermelons can this hold? ""uhh I dunno, 11?"" only 11? *keeps walking to next one* how many waterme"
"Not afraid of death anymore because I just woke up from a nap I didn't even know I was having."
"How do bunny rabbits like their beer brewed? With lots of hops!"
"Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them."
"blonde joke Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes? it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!"
"What Did the Fish Say When He Swam into a Wall? Damn."
"I could care less about you but I'm still going to go through your entire wedding & 1st born childs photo album on Facebook. I hate myself"