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Joke of the Day

"Cant' believe my horse came first yesterday!!' Dad, how many times have I told you i'm not interested in your's and Camilla's bedroom antics!'"

"When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, ""No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."""

"How did the blind girl accidentally get pregnant? As careful as she tried to be, she could never have seen him coming"

"Did you hear about the man who got AIDS? He was fucked."

"Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? One was a salted."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a crack dealer? A prostitute can sell her crack over and over again."

"I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off."

"Getty Yup! Cowboy: ""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah.... She ain't that ugly."""

"Say what you want about pedophiles.. but at least they slow down at children's crossings."

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work"