36660

Joke of the Day

"I would make a Sodium and Hydrogen joke but... The fine bros own the rights to it :("

"90 years from now, they'll sing songs about the courage and bravery you displayed during the great ""Instagram Selling Your Photos"" skirmish."

"What do you call a lesbian with a SUV full of penises? Dick Van Dyke"

"I got tired of smelling soggy tacos, so I quit working at Taco Bell. Also, the food smells like shit."

"What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!"

"*Pets a blob in the dark to see if its my cat* *I'm still not sure*"

"What does Melania call it when Donald takes Viagra? A rigged erection."

"Accidentally took an adderall instead of an anti-depressant now I'm SUPER focused on my depression."

"I went to an airport the other day. As I was about to catch a plane, I thought ""My dog would be proud."""

"I'm a member of DAM Mothers Against Dyslexia"