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Joke of the Day

"What does it's job ONLY after it has been fired? A bullet"

"What do you call an Asian getting mugged? Black and Yellow"

"Dad: ""Go to your room now!"" Child: *storms off* ""Jim Morrison was overrated!"" Dad: ""What did I tell you about slamming the Doors?!"""

"I just ordered a cup of coffee from a BP gas station. The attendant spilled it. Why am I not surprised?"

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first muffin turns to the other and says ""gee it's hot in here"" The other muffin replies ""holy shit! A talking fucking muffin!"""

"I have sixth sense, I see stupid people."

"Why did hitler buy glasses? He could NOT SEE."

"Went to my niece's elementary school field day last week. I won every single event. Every. Single. Event."

"""Come together, right now, over me."" -Beatles lyrics or gangbang dialogue"

"Your cat doesn't love you. If it were bigger it would eat you."