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Joke of the Day

"Band:Make some noise! Crowd:WOOO! Me:THATS SO VAGUE! WHAT KIND OF NOISE?! B:I cant hear u! C:WOOO! M:B/C UR PLAN WAS FLAWED FROM THE START!"

"What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB? They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again."

"Friend: ""Dude, me & my girlfriend are getting married."" ME: ""Wow! when?"" Friend: ""Me on 27th April and she on 14th June."""

"Top 10 inappropriate songs to sing at a children's karaoke party; 10 - Sometimes When We Touch"

"I just had to fire my Korean housekeeper... ...She kept trying to wok the dog."

"What is the hungriest mineral that exists? Apatite"

"When will Cameron stop fucking with the system? when pigs fly"

"I once helped an elderly Japanese man cross the street. Afterwards he said, ""Sank you."" So I punched him in the face. He didn't have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that."

"Best/worst joke out of a trip through Germany ""Knock Knock"" ""who's there"" ""brat"" ""brat who?"" ""bratwurst"""

"Thanks for the heart attack, Chinese menu under the door while I'm watching a scary movie."