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Joke of the Day

"I thought I spotted superman twice yesterday. Turns out it was just a bird and a plane. -Dwight York"

"How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan? He was de-lighted"

"My friend told me what the Mile High Club was the other day But honestly, I don't give a flying fuck."

"I was walking through... I was walking through a graveyard on my way to work earlier when I saw a man crouched beside a headstone. ""Morning"" I said, he goes ""nah, just having a shit."""

"I went camping yesterday and... It was in tents! BAZINGAAA LMFAO I die when I thought of this good joke BAZINGA x1000"

"It's pretty sad that even in 2013 chameleons care so much about skin color."

"Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors"

"Me: goodnight moon Moon: It's 6pm Me: I know but I'm tired Moon: I literally just got here"

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One I like to crush with a sledgehammer till juice squirts out, the other is a watermelon"

"It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pocket."