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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just texted me, her dragon name was ""Vaerjuam"". I was like "" Hey Vaerjuam. I'm dad."""

"I watch Looney Tunes before I go to work, because there's something about old school cartoon violence that relaxes me"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard & they're like ""How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"""

"Around here we commonly refer to our intellectual property as 'our shit'."

"What's the difference between an oral and anal thermometer? The taste"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none. They would just beat the room because it was black."

"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? Some might call it too cocky..."

"A boss at a workplace says to his secretary, ""File this report, please.""""You file it, sir,"" the secretary replies. ""I'm a secretary, not a woodworker."""

"Mickey Mouse just got shot at Disney World for being black."

"Rhetorical is still a word, right?"