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Joke of the Day

"I watch Looney Tunes before I go to work, because there's something about old school cartoon violence that relaxes me"

"Some people say i'm conflicted... I'm not so sure."

"What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers."

"[creation] GOD: You all have a divine purpose HORSE: I will plow man's field COW: I will give man milk GUINEA PIG: I will test man's shampoo"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic racist? He hated gingers."

"What type of humor did the heart attack survivor like? Offbeat."

"While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth I consumed consumption."

"I can't think of a single reason to use an idiom If you ask me, they're for the birds"

"I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature."

"My church says to treat my body like a temple. And let all the priests inside."