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Joke of the Day

"Why Was The Canvas Maker Late Home From Work? He had to close a sail"

"Ask your doctor if being a doctor is right for him. Everything isn't about you."

"My mum was called Pearl and my dad was called Dean... Every time I would call them I would go, Hi mum and Pe PA pe PA pe pe PA...."

"How do you disappoint a redditor? [removed]"

"What do you call a tired cow? Milked out!"

"Have you heard of the man from DeMizes? His balls were of two different sizes. One ball was so small, there was no ball at all. The other so large it won prizes."

"Three Nuns Walked Into A Bar The fourth one ducked."

"My therapist says I'm paranoid. He didn't *actually* say that I but I know he was thinking it."

"Me: That the new iPhone? Him: Yup! The 5S! Me: What's the difference? Him: The C stands for ""Cheap"" Me: What about the S? Him: ""'Spensive"""

"Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info."