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Joke of the Day
"If there's a pedicure, why are there still pedophiles?"
Next Joke
"I wanted to watch the inauguration today But Eisenhower late."
"How do you pronounce the ""Pao"" in ""Power'? [deleted]"
"Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists? They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. [explanation](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment)"
"What do you say when someone makes a racially insensitive comment? That's insensitive, you retard."
"NARRATOR: Here we see the gentle reindeer gamboling in the woods... DASHER: [pushing stack of Xmas cookies] Raise NARRATOR: I SAID GAMBOLING"
"People keep getting mad when I say I'm a God.... ... They all say I have a me complex"
"""Sir can I ask you why you're smoking TWO huge cops?"" Blunt, i'm *turns to camera* Doing this tweet wrong *Blunt just stares in confusion*"
"They say in life expect the unexpected'. So I did, and f*ck all happened. I wasn't expecting that."
"CLOSE THE DOOR, YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE WIFI OUT"