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Joke of the Day

"Writing a romcom about a human centipede front that falls in love with a human centipede back. Middle guy is the comic relief ""cockblocker"""

"Don't ever compete against Heinz... You're always going to play catch up."

"older woman => young dude: cougarnolder man => young women: manthernolder man => younger men: faguarnolder woman => younger women: sheetah"

"Q. What do clouds do when they become rich? A. They make it rain!"

"If you ever get really mad. All you have to do is think about a T-Rex trying to pick up a basketball."

"What do you call a group of invading pirates? An **Arrr**my"

"Did you guys hear about them putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill? To bad it is only going to be worth $12 now."

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car"

"What paint is most popular in modern buildings? Microsoft Paint"

"Why was the tomato blushing? Answer: ...Because it saw the salad dressing!"