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Joke of the Day

"Writing a romcom about a human centipede front that falls in love with a human centipede back. Middle guy is the comic relief ""cockblocker"""

"Why shouldn't you wear Russian underwear? Because Chernobyl fall-out."

"This Valentine's Day I'm single by choice Just not my choice"

"A man wearing transparent underwear walked into a psychiatrist's office The psychiatrist said, ""I can see you're nuts"""

"One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Clause wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""

"Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm."

"What's the difference between a Private and a Private First Class? Where they sit on an airplane."

"Whenever fat people tell you they are on a diet, it just means they started dabbing their pizza with a napkin to get some of the grease off."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? And 'entruncated'? How about 'monosyllabic'? Who's running this language?"

"Just been to the shop and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. I can't believe the currant exchange rate"