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Joke of the Day

"I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready."

"movies never show the part in the ending where the hero drives into the sunset and has to pull down the visor"

"My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her !"

"NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon? I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions."

"[OC] I invented a word: plagiarism."

"What's the difference between my 83-year old grandfather and /r/jokes? My grandfather doesn't have Alzheimers."

"Hey, i'm proud of my heritage that's why sometimes, I don't even wear my hood at rallies."

"ME: Guess who was just promoted to be the new CEO! COWORKER: Amanda. ME: Why would you assume it's a man?"

"What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? How the hell are we going to find any eggs in all this shit!"

"Did you hear about the stupid photographer? He saved burned out lightbulbs for use in his darkroom."