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Joke of the Day
"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records Then the librarian told me to take it out."
Next Joke
"You could tell my parents hated me... My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. (RIP Rodney Dangerfield)"
"My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down"
"I was just diagnosed with colorblindness... I was so surprised, it just came out of the green!"
"What do you call two gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."
"What do you call a thief that leaves a trail? A crummy thief!"
"My wife asked me to get the house ready as her friend is sleeping here tonight so as an optimist our bed now has 3 pillows."
"How do you become president of Russia? You gotta Put-in the hours"
"FARMER: you ok man? ME (from inside a well I fell into 3 days ago): all is well lol FARMER: lol ME: seriously though I think I broke my leg"
"How do you tell a deaf person to shut up? ""Here, hold this."""