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Joke of the Day

"I just want to be rich enough to say ""that won't be necessary"" when the police go to handcuff me"

"Why can't Americans play chess ? Because they are missing two towers."

"What would be a great name for a Mexican Boy Band? Juan Direction."

"Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don't know what I'm gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It's a mystery"

"They say not to text and drive, but I still feel totally fine after like two texts"

"What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach? A pocket full of shells."

"If I would brush my teeth as vigorously as the people in the toothpaste commercials do, my sink would look like a murder scene."

"What type of wrists are the scariest? Terror wrists."

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere."

"What is the difference between a JCB and a giraffe? One has hydraulics the other has high bolics."