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Joke of the Day

"If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale..."

"A moderator walks into a bar.., [removed]"

"Who is the musician's best friend? The drummer!"

"My friend asked what would get black walnut stains off of his driveway I told him to call a cheap motel. If anyone would know how to remove nut stains it would be them."

"it would be pretty badass if people never stopped growing and old people were like 30 feet tall. anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long for fat people."

"Why did Jeffrey Dahmer fuck his corpses? He already had a skin lamp, but he didn't have a flesh light"

"How many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb? They can't, it'd be much too cramped. How would they even get in there in the first place?"

"first day at school?"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."