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Joke of the Day

"ALADDIN: i can show you the world JASMINE: wat why. do u kno that there are people out there. why do u think we live ina palace. no thank u"

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"Me: A wise man once said... Wife: STOP QUOTING YOURSELF!"

"What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey? To flick through it as fast as possible."

"What did the priest say before eating his salad? ""Lettuce pray"""

"How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Tires need changing too you know!"

"It's always a little disconcerting how before you trust them with your life every airline checks you in using computers running Windows 95."

"Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population? Cause the condom they use is ""Made in china"""

"It's 364 days until Christmas And people already have their lights up!"

"If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney."