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Joke of the Day

"I'm always on the guest list at Club Sandwich."

"Chuck Norris graduated Summa Cum Laude at Harvard after only 1 class."

"You're riding the crest of a slump?"

"What type of shoes does a pedophile wear? White Vans. Creds to a friend of mine :)"

"Her dad said he'd like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me."

"Go up to a guy in a bar and whisper ""hey do you wanna get out of here?"" and if he says yes, you can sit where he was."

"My career is in ruins. It's fucking great being an archaeologist."

"Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face yes."

"George Clooney has done so much for the world. All of it to try to get us to forget that he was a terrible Batman."

"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."