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Joke of the Day

"Growing up my girlfriend was called the human calculator... but that's just because 14 year old boys would have her do handstands so they could see her boobies."

"What do you call an unemployed classical musician? Baroque"

"Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond."

"My 9yo son just gave me a hug and told me thank you for not naming him Dick."

"I've been retracing my steps and now I have all these outlines of feet on my floor and still no keys."

"What do you call it when you play Nintendo games because you have nothing better to do? Ennwii"

"""Let me put it this way.."" ~gist of Kamasutra"

"[Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*"

"Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."