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Joke of the Day

"My redneck cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously cliche... I mean really. Cracker wants a poly?"

"Just buckled a bottle of Tito's Vodka into the backseat of my car, so I obviously know what it's like to be a mom."

"Why isn't there many Mexicans in Europe? BeCause it's to cold, long a swim"

"Which Pokemon trainer does Scyther hate the most? Red"

"Why don't gelding horses like to race? Because every time they go to the starting gate they're reminded ""They're Off!""."

"Knock knock... Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (Wait for inevitable groans) Courtesy of my boss, lover of lame jokes."

"You may say the glass is half full or half empty. I say fill the rest of my damn cup!"

"This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies? Corpses are still underground."

"Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from prison? The headlines read ""Small Medium at Large"""

"I love people. However, most of them are fictional characters."