35596
Joke of the Day
"if i was a ghost i would probably still just watch netflix"
Next Joke
"The last stall in the bathroom at work Has a really, noisy creaky door when you open it. There's some scary shit going on in there......."
"At least I have all day sober to Sunday up....."
"MOST LETTERS Q: What two words contain the most letters? A: Post office."
"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I am handsome I would have exactly one dollar.! Thanks Mom.!"
"I could make way more Ayn Rand jokes here, but most of you would be too weak and altruistic to understand them. Let alone profit from them."
"No matter what anyone said, I was never going to take the stand. It's 1000 pages, for Pete's sake!"
"My voicemail greeting is just me strangling a cat while reading bible passages."
"Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!"
"What's the most common pickup line at a gay bar? May I please push in your stool?"