118709
Joke of the Day
"This kitten is just what my house needed. Another female that doesn't listen to me."
Next Joke
"I think about other women when I'm having sex with my wife. But I always think about her when I'm having sex with other women."
"What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore? Old Bae"
"Tried to catch fog today. Mist."
"Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink."
"My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle."
"My professor's name is Andy Nusbaum. His email is anusbaum@[university].edu"
"Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now"
"What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison? You can't wash your face in a buffalo."
"What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test? They bio-D-grade."