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Joke of the Day
"When a package says ""Easy Open"" I end up using scissors, knife, hammer, gun and a lightsaber."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train theif? He has loco motives."
"My plan is simple. Drink Vodka until I start speaking Russian."
"At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat."
"I've learned so much from my mistakes.. I'm thinking of making some more"
"What do you call a Slavic spouse? Czech-mate"
"A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair. And then a table"
"Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?"
"Two fish were in a tank... and one says ""How do you drive this thing?"""
"[at Applebees on Christmas] God: Your food good? Jesus: Ya, it- *a crowd of servers surrounds them* Jesus: You didn't... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y"