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Joke of the Day

"Come on, terrorists. Stuff your pockets with colorful beads before exploding. It doesn't have to be ALL negative."

"You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance."

"At a wedding where the minister told everyone to stand next to the person who makes life worth living. The bartender was almost trampled."

"Hey why isn't Phil Hughes playing in the test today? Oh didn't you hear, he was the first Australian to be killed by ebola!"

"I asked my friend how she liked her first Brazilian wax... She told me it was a complete rip-off."

"Why did Albert Einstein marry his cousin? Because she was his relative"

"TIL that 'gullible' has been removed from the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary... Seriously. I swear."

"Why do the Chinese remember more then everyone else All their memories are in wide screen."

"How come the government can keep printing money But when I do it, it's a crime?"

"My wife thought her water broke so we went to emergency. Turns out her bong just has a crack in it or something."