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Joke of the Day

"I work at a dealership, this guy there is addicted to brake fluid but he says he can stop at anytime!"

"*doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don't stand for national anthem*"

"I'm not racist. I hate all races equally. Especially the 100 meter dash. All short and Olympickish."

"How does grandma's chairlift work? It has to do with nanatechnology."

"What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut? Remove only the top 1% please."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."

"My dad got fired from Cal Trans for stealing... We couldn't believe it. But when we got home, we saw all of the signs."

"Kanye West is the type off nigga that shows up to a random funeral and say... Why ya'll crying, I'm still alive"

"You know you're a bad driver when your GPS tells you ""after 400 feet stop and let me out"""

"Bae: come over Me: can we ever have normal conversations Bae: my parents aren't home Me: why can't you just ask how good my day was for once"