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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster never catch a fish? Because he didn't go in the mainstream"

"All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach."

"What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison"

"A Catholic named Jose climbed mount Olympus. He saw God at the top and said ""Hey! Zeus!"""

"""It doesn't say anywhere that you have to EAT them, you see,"" I explain to the Olive Garden waitress as my breadstick kingdom adds a library"

"Me: *gazes into his eyes* Him: *sweats* M *winks* H: I'm kinda uncomfortable M: But this is love H: It's my job to fill liquor orders, ma'am"

"Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself ""I can't believe I'm recording this"""

"Coming soon to the USA... #Mexit"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R? You'd think that but it's the C."

"To Find and Replace the new /r/news sidebar terminology Find ""Rule"" Replace with ""Shari'a Law"""