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Joke of the Day

"Thin eyeliner today. *left one goes fatter *right one goes fatter *left one goes fatter *right one goes fatter *covers entire face."

"What is a caveman's favourite audio compression algorithm? OGG"

"How does an abstract artist paint? They wipe their ass with canvas."

"Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now."

"When I was your age, I was outside all day until dark 15: The batteries on cell phones must have been a lot better back then Me: ........."

"Just saw Jennifer Aniston on the cover of ""Magazine Cover"" magazine."

"These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?"

"The reason why I am single. Watching batman vs superman with gf. Suddenly wonder women's entry, instant boner. Gf ask wtf is that. I replied dark knight rises"

"I wouldn't say my neighbourhood's been gentrified But it's been demilitarised"

"I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one animal there and to make it even worse it was just a dog. It was a shit-zu"