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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven?-How to pick up Satan"

"[running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"[Horrible Joke] Why did the pretzel maker break his PC? He was too salty. (Overwatch competitive)"

"Him- You're a useless piece of shit.. Me- Show me a useful piece of shit."

"I run down a hospital corridor, clutching the mustard dispenser I liberated from the cafeteria. Earlier I had a plan. Now I have mustard."

"People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away."

"People act like weed is the worst thing for short-term memory. Go drink 15 beers and see if you can remember your name or how legs work."

"Three legged dog A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: ""I'm lookin' for the man who executed my father."""

"A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, ""Do you know what tomorrow is?"" and watch the panic set in."

"Stevie Wonder walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair."