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Joke of the Day

"Every night, I take all of the singles out of my wallet, spread them on the bed, and pretend I was pretty that day."

"Guy exposes himself with a boner and is arrested. How did he get off? It wouldn't stand up in court"

"How do you get two rednecks to play Banjo in unison? Shoot the first one."

"I fractured my tailbone this morning. I guess you could say I was pretty butthurt."

"i may be single but at least im gettin f*cked financially!"

"TOA! The Transvestites of America want to wish everyone a happy holiday season, remember to eat, drink, and be Mary."

"What's a space pirate's favorite planet? mArrrs!"

"If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news."

"""This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall."" -Every 2 year old with a Popsicle."

"'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support."