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Joke of the Day

"Don't die a Virgin Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there."

"""I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"""

"What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path? Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants."

"He's 52, from now on let's just call him John Depp."

"In a perfect world I'd own a fertilizer / external hard-drive distribution company called Shits N Gigs."

"Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist? It was to cucumbersome."

"knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""KGB."" ""KGB wh--"" [slap recipient of the joke] ""Vee vill ask za questions!"""

"What do you call a group of prison bull-dykes? Ellen Degenerates"

"Anyone who feels bad about dumping a huge national debt on the next generation hasn't spent a lot of time around teenagers."

"I'd just like to thank my English teacher for defining the word Many' for me. It means a lot."