20709

Joke of the Day

"I am not sure if I need to get beat up, broke as hell and drive a P.O.S car to get a hot girlfriend. Because that's all I see, ugly is the new hot!"

"Why did the Mexican try to wear his taco? He was dyslexic."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? Give me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid."

"Went camping last weekend.. Yeah it was intents"

"I think my neighbour's been stalking me, she's been googling my name on her computer I saw it through my telescope last night"

"What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!"

"Q: What's the best way to accelerate a Mac? A: 9.81 m/s2"

"What's the heaviest Chinese food? wonton :3"

"What do you call a circle of $100 bills? Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)"

"When my girlfriend dumped me I spent 8 hours making a replica of her house and her on Sims, then burning it down. Easiest way to move on."