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Joke of the Day

"What is one thing you always get on your birthday? Older"

"Just replaced the cat litter with 44 packages of pop rocks... And now we wait."

"*Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight."

"Was at the zoo and witnessed a monkey going to the bathroom. That shit was bananas."

"Damn Girl, did you fall from heaven? Cus your face is fucked up."

"I would totally support the development of a 14-year after pill."

"Ghost handwriting is so sloppy. What is this, blood? Lol. Get a pen."

"What does Snoop Dogg eat when he visits Montreal? Smoked Meat Every Day."

"A lifetime supply of McDonalds is actually pretty short"

"A conversation between two strangers in a diner... Man #1: You know, without the mustache you'd look just like my first wife. Man #2: I don't have a mustache! Man #1: She did."