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Joke of the Day

"What is the drunkest animal in Antarctica? A Pengwine. That's a /u/amanescape original. I can show myself out."

"The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful."

"All these mass shootings make me think... ... People must really hate Catholics right now"

"What's the difference between a washing machine and a festie chick... A washing machine wont follow you around all summer after you popped a load in it."

"Where does big-foot keep his genitals? In his sascrotch!"

"Insult Joke P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: Why? P1: To get to the little bitch's house. P1: Knock knock P1: Who's there? P2: The chicken"

"Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk."

"I've never held a baby before ""It'll be fine"" *I accidentally put the baby in a box and mail it to North Korea*"

"A psychic dwarf just escaped from prison... Apparently there's now a small medium at large"

"Why did mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""