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Joke of the Day

"what do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? What do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? They are both pussies who were discovered on the internet."

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"If a hippo was studying to be a neurosurgeon what school would the hippo go to? The Hippocampus!"
"""What's green and eats nuts?"" ""Syphilis!"""
"How do you get a blonde pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest."
"What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal? Synonym Toast Crunch"
"I like my shits like I like my Slavs Squatting."
"[at a bar] *sees hot chick check me out* *writes note on napkin and asks bartender to give to her* *she reads note* ""STOP STARING IT'S RUDE"""
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that..."
"I like my women like I like my coffee, Quiet."
"The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating."
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