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Joke of the Day

"What's the temperate inside of a ton-ton? What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton? Lukewarm."

"When you say ""liar liar pants on fire,"" it makes you a liar too. Their pants probably aren't on fire"

"What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon? The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli."

"How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it."

"If you sit on your hands 15 minutes before filling in an exam, it feels like somebody else is disappointing for your teacher. Edit: grammar"

"This hasn't helped my bull get any sleep at all. In fact, the closer I get to him with the bulldozer, the more agitated he gets."

"So I was all ""I'm not taking any shit from you, bitch"" and she was all ""to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1""."

"Oh thank goodness, my Uber driver knows what's really wrong with this country."

"IMPROV PERFORMER: I need a suggestion. PERSON (from the back) BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER! IP: Okay, someone that's not my wife."

"""We don't allow faster than light neutrinos here"" said the bartender. A neutrino walked into a bar."