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Joke of the Day
"[job interview] ""Why should I hire you?"" ""Because I have pictures of you with a goat?"""
Next Joke
"After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently"
"Laughing Octopus Q:How many tickles would it take to make an octopus laugh? A:Ten"
"*gets laser eye surgery* ""Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?"" I told you, that's not what *i squint at him real hard but he's right*"
"Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee"
"Man's March (on Washington) Can be observed every day at 8am. Also known as going to work."
"I studied abroad for a year. But she got really creeped out and moved away."
"Willie saw some dynamite, Couldn't understand it quite; Curiosity never pays: It rained Willie seven days."
"If the meal between breakfast and lunch is called brunch and the meal between lunch and dinner is called linner, what's the meal between breakfast and dinner called? Lunch"
"When a character in a movie says the title in the middle of dialogue they should be required to wink and make tiny guns with their fingers."